Once Upon My Last Fall

I know it might be too late to celebrate autumn as we are already halfway through it, but I just can't let the season end without writing my autumnal blog post (you can find the previous autumnal posts here), especially because this year marks my last fall in the Netherlands *insert crying emoticon* 

Those who have ever lived abroad can perhaps relate to these mixed feelings that I have been having lately. Despite my excitement about going home for good, I feel surprisingly melancholic over my time living here that is coming to an end. I say "surprising" because my first year was quite bitter. I encountered things that I never knew before, and it was mainly related to my ignorance of how cold this country is – and yes, I'm talking about the weather and the people. I love cloudy days as much as I love being reserved. But when there are too many cloudy days, I can't help but yearn for the sunny days. The same thing also applies to the aloofness that people have here. It seems like everyone has their own barricade where one person is hindered from passing through the other. No matter how long you spend time together, no matter how many deep conversations you have with them, those walls are still there. And maybe this is the reason why this country can be too lonely sometimes, unexceptionally for me. It seems like the Dutch know well how to make an introvert crave for connection instead of distance. 

But there is something about this country that has won me over. It gives me some sort of freedom where I can be myself without worrying about other people's opinions and do many things independently –  I have a lot to say about this, but I'll save it for the farewell post. And more importantly, this place has certain things that awakens my inner child, which makes me more prone to feeling the excitement and amusement in life.

Cycling through the trees as the fresh air and breeze gently caress my face – and automatically refreshes my mind like nothing else. Witnessing some of the most beautiful things in life: fall foliage, the first day of snowfall, and cherry blossoms in full bloom. Going for annual tulip cycle/visit to Lisse and falling in love with Holland for many times. Doing grocery shopping to Albert Heijn  – which never fail me to buy more than what is already on my shopping list. Buying fresh flowers, veggies, and fruits at Blaak market, then stopping by at one of the stalls to buy a fresh-baked stroopwafel. Window shopping to Dille & Kamille  –  and always end up purchasing things I don't need but bring me happiness. Borrowing novels from the campus library that has vast arrays of books. Admiring the often-overlooked cute brick houses with gambrel roofs. It's these things that have always taught me to not take anything for granted. Because someday, these small blessings and simple happiness will inevitably start to fade away, day by day, until they become nothing more than an acute nostalgia for my late 20s.