August 31, 2015

Shine A Light

Plaid Shirt: Unbranded. Cullot: Thrifted (Pasar Senen). 
Bag: Unbranded. Shoes: Stradivarius.

August 25, 2015

12.02 AM

Do you ever get to the point where you just want to crawl into bed and ignore the world until the time came to do it all over again? These days, every time I wake up, I feel empty... like a library without a single book, like a container without nothing inside. It is as if the blankness finds its way into my heart and remains there until the exact time no one knows. These are the days when I feel the urge to fill my stomach as an act of filling the emptiness somewhere inside of me. The days when I want to be hurt, just because I don't know any other way to cry and let out this emptiness. In day light hours, I can refuse the thought and fill the emptiness with piles of works to do, or people to talk to. But at night, it would consume me a hundred times worse. I try to close my eyes but can't fall asleep. My whole body is dying to rest, while my mind is wide awake. There's this whole confused mess swirls in my brain and my head feels as if it's about to burst. I try to clear my head, blank everything out, but it's not easy. 

I know there are some things I can never assign to oblivion, nor rub away. I remember I had something too complete, too perfect that I didn't care about other people's feelings. Until I receive this karma, and afterwards all I could do was blaming myself for my past mistakes. Maybe that's why I'm being punished now, why I'm under a kind of curse. I know, there's nothing I can do about it. I just need to accept the fact that universe serves me the revenge that I deserve and forge on a head. Like Robert M.Drake once said, "one day you will make peace with your demons, and the chaos in your heart will settle flat. And maybe for the first time in your life, life will smile back at you and welcome you home". 

August 21, 2015

Take Me Away

Long Denim & Stripe Dress: Thrifted (Pasar Senen). 
Shoes: Old Navy. Bag: Lacoste. 

August 19, 2015

Oh, Hello Again Japan!

Hello good people. Hope you all are doing well! I'm back again with a little update of my trip to Japan three weeks ago. Maybe I'm too amazed to realise it's mid August already that led me to start writing about my trip before it's too late. Anyway, I couldn't possibly summarise in here everything that's happened to me during those two weeks as it's gonna be a super long post (and the other fact that I've had a lot of catching up to do right now). So, I'm gonna split it into several posts and I hope you won't get bored of my travel stories and photographs! :p

Even though this is my third visit to Japan, I still had the pre-trip excitement and anxiety. The thing is, I can't really say my previous visits as a vacation. I was actually participating in exchange programs which means I didn't have enough time to travel around the country. And what's more is that I only went to Fukuoka, a city in the southern part of Japan, that is completely different from the cities I visited now: Tokyo, Osaka and Kyoto. Sooo, for the first time in who knows how long, I was really excited when making long itineraries, using the super cool toilets, seeing lots of kawaii umbrellas popping up everywhere, eating a cheap but satisfying Japanese foods, sleeping on a minimalist futon, bathing in an onsen (Japanese public bath), and many more exciting things that you will definitely find out later :)

If England is a lover with whom I shared some of my early-twenties memories, then Japan is an old friend who played a significant role in my childhood and teenage years. I can't express it well, but there's definitely something special about this country. 
  • I remember when I went to Japan for the first time, I almost couldn't go back home because I'd forgotten (where I kept) my passport. Since then, I always check my passport everyday just to make sure that it's in the right place
  • This is the place where I made a friendship with some people who I called my childhood best friends. It was actually stray too far from the "norm" as other people we know can't seem to make this long term friendships
  • I always end up crying when I returned home (except for this time), because I had to say goodbye to people whom I regard as my family 
There are actually many interesting experience that I had in the past, but I just couldn't find the right words to explain. Surely, it's the place that has given me lots of sweet memories and some tough lessons about life (and travel). 

More from the country of sunrise in my next posts! x 

August 11, 2015

I Don't Care

T-shirt: Pull & Bear. Stripe Long Sleeve: Thrifted. 
Pants: Cotton Ink. Shoes: Stradivarius. Bag: Lacoste.