K is officially 4 months old today. Some people say that when babies reach 3 months, life gets easier for parents. But we can’t fully agree with that. For us, the past month has been the second most challenging one —right after the very first month.
These are the times when he suddenly becomes crankier and clingier than before. Some call it a growth spurt. Whatever it is, we just hope it doesn’t come too often in the future—especially not when we’re also dealing with being sick. It feels like we never really know what he wants, and once we finally figure out how to soothe him, it changes again. One day, he only wanted to fall asleep while being carried and nursed in my arms. The next, he fell asleep while nursing in a side-lying position. And on another day, he went straight to sleep as soon as I put him in his crib or bed—only after being carried around for a while and crying a little.
Not to mention, this was the first time he got sick and injured. I don’t remember whether I panicked when I realized he had a fever. All I knew was that it didn’t take long to decide we needed to take him to the hospital. He didn’t cry or fuss—he just looked weak, and it was awful to see. But he was such a good boy; he didn’t cry when they used the nebulizer and vibrator. Instead, he looked excited about these new things he saw. It was the same when his nail got a small wound. He cried loudly once, briefly, and then acted like nothing had happened. Again, I told myself I wasn’t panicking, but I couldn’t help spending hours looking things up and asking others, just to make sure I was treating him the right way.
Of course, despite all that, there were sweet moments that made the past month feel less difficult. His giggles whenever we kiss his cheeks, his hands, or blow on his tummy. His new developmental milestones that leave us amazed and proud. Like when he smiles at his reflection in the mirror, tries to put everything into his mouth, holds things with both hands, or when he makes that grumpy cooing sound whenever his feeding is interrupted.
Among all the little moments we've had, I think the most memorable ones this month are when he started to recognize familiar faces and voices and show his growing preference for us—his parents. I still remember the day we dropped him off; before we even walked away, he cried so hard, almost as if he knew we were about to leave.
This past month also marked my first time returning to offline work after maternity leave. I remember it vividly that leaving home wasn’t as heartbreaking as I feared—honestly, I even felt a spark of excitement to be back in the office :") But when I came home... it was surprisingly emotional. He cried the moment he heard my voice, refusing to calm down for anyone else. And when I finally held him, he stopped instantly. That moment made me realize just how special I am to him, more than I had ever realized before.
All in all, although this month has been full of challenges, it’s been filled with lots of love too. Watching him grow, learn, and show more of his personality each day reminds us how quickly time passes—and how precious these little moments truly are. No matter how tiring the days get, every smile, giggle, and cuddle makes it all worth it.
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